Be Brave

(Blogpost written by Sarah Jeter)

Hobby Lobby has ruined inspiration signs for America. You know what I’m talking about. Just look above your fireplace. Is “Live, Laugh, Love” painted in curly script on a fake-weathered piece of wood? I thought so.

And I’m not saying that’s bad. It’s good to fill your home with positivity and inspiration and the motivation to feed the good things in your life. All I’m saying is that Hobby Lobby has made them so mainstream they kind of lose their meaning.

That’s why, when I saw the new sign painted on the hallway wall in the girls’ corridor at Jemo House (the children’s home in Maseno, Kenya TLC runs), it didn’t strike me as anything too special. It says, “Be Brave.”

But, dear reader, take a second to think about what it means to tell a young woman to “be brave” in a rural village in Kenya.

Many of the girls at Jemo House come from abusive homes and families. Each day, they’re recovering and healing from years of mistreatment and abuse. For them, being brave is waking up every morning and choosing to heal, to forgive, and love people, even when so many people have given them thousands of reasons not to.

Being brave in Maseno is working hard in school, being bold about wanting to go to college and pursue a love of learning instead of the comfort of a more domestic life. It means fighting against gender normalities and expectations we don’t have in the same capacity in the United States. And it means always wearing a dress, even if that’s not what makes you feel comfortable or at home in yourself.

We are proud of all of our children at Jemo House, especially our young women. We are proud that they’ve chosen to be brave, and part of our mission to encourage and equip them to choose bravery every day. But the other part of our mission is teaching them that choosing bravery doesn’t always mean choosing anger. It takes bravery to love others, stand up for what you know to be right, and do what is best, not what is easy.

If you want to help us keep encouraging our girls to be brave, we would love your support. A $10/month donation will help us feed these young, hungry and courageous ladies. (Bravery is easier on a full stomach, I know this from experience.)

But, more importantly, TLC is asking each of you to practice bravery this week, in honor of the girls we support. Love yourself and others sincerely, in the way you deserve to be loved. That’s true bravery.

From your family at TLC, have a great week.

Got a few minutes? Here is a great and related Ted Talk about bravery and vulnerability.
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

A Few Good Men

I know it' not quite Father's Day yet, but today I am acutely aware of how thankful I am for these men that have given up their time and a little of their sanity to spend these last few weeks with me here.    I love Kenya in a way that I will never properly be able to convey to anyone. My soul still feels most content here and I miss it when I'm gone.  But that doesn't blind me to how hard it can be, especially for others.  It can be frustrating and confusing, and generally it can wear you down in a physical/social/emotional kind of way.  It's easy to underestimate the energy it takes to be slightly out of your comfort zone all the time.  And it's hot.  Which is most noticeable when the situation requires a little more patience than you possess.

How many dads do you know would give up a full month of their life for that?  How many husbands would use more than half of their vacation time to work like crazy?  I couldn't make a long list.  And even more than their sacrifice, I appreciate why they do it.  Yes, because they love me.  Yes, because they do enjoy it.  But they really do it because it matters to them.  Because they know it's not really about the things we are doing, it about showing up.  It's being a physical representation of love to these children.  Our children.   Like all kids, they need to know that you will show up for them, again and again, no matter how they mess up or misbehave.   Unconditional is a concept that usually needs to been seen or felt to be understood.   That in a world that has crumbled around them before, you will not. 

Janet, Dave and Selah playing a game

Dave and Dad visiting Vincent at his school

Arnold getting a lesson in pocket-knife safety

Dave teaching Faith and Aggry how to pick up

Rain gear :)

Boys and their muscles

When you get back from a month like this and people ask, "How was Kenya?"  

It feels like you need to sum it up in 2-3 sentences before they lose interest, which often comes out as, "It was good."  Then followed by a brief synopsis of painting the gate, filling the fish pond, installing running water, and things of that nature.   But those are just the tasks.  The real work was the showing up.  Thank you Baba and Dave, for showing up for these kids.  Again and again.  

Jessie

Just Pics

Too tired to say much.  Just wanted to show you the lovely bits of my last few days.

Janet (left) and Selah

Lynet and I visiting Eddah (left) at her school

Selah and Janet starting our family tree mural

Arnold having some alone time with the legos :)

Daniel plays goal keeper in a game of handball at school

Zedekia playing with wooden blocks

Menstrual Health Day is a Bust

Much to Dave's delight, we got to spend the majority of our day today at a menstrual hygiene day at one of the local schools :)   I appreciate the focus on teaching girls safe and healthy practices.  I agree they should be educated on what is happening to their bodies and how to handle it.   I was really hoping to be impressed by this, but I came away with mixed feelings at best.  Here's how it went down.

We were told it started at 9, but we should come at 10:30.  We brought with us 90 pad kits and some underwear and were told the public health officers would also have disposable pads to distribute to all the girls at the end of the talk.  It was listed right in the program.  We had decided to hand the pads over to the teachers and have them give the reusable pads to the girls who were the most vulnerable and would not be able to purchase anymore when the disposable supply ran out, since we knew there would be many more than 90 girls there.  When we arrived, the program had not yet started.  It finally got going around 12:00.  Now that is actually not the frustrating part-starting something 2 and a half hours late is par for the course here, frankly-I should have just planned to come late.

 For the occasion they had erected two large tents and there were at least 35 government public health officers there.   They started with a few skits about menstruation that appeared to be funny based on the girl's giggling.  Then they spent over an hour introducing the different government officers there.  One of the ladies gave a very informative 30 min talk about health and hygiene.  I got up and gave my little talk about respecting our bodies and taking good care of them, and made a show of presenting the pads to the school.  All the officers who were introduced earlier then EACH thanked everyone from coming and talked about what a great program it was..........And that was it.  We sent most of the 500 girls home empty handed! 

A few of the lucky girls who got pads

I was informed right before we got started that they had no pads to give the girls.  Even though the government has made very public commitments to supply schools with this basic need, the money (or the person who is supposed to deliver them) never seems to show up.  So they rented tents, took 35 public health workers away from their jobs for a whole afternoon, and took 500 girls out of school...........to give them a 30-min min talk on hygiene.   What?!  The girls already know what to do, they just don't have the supplies to do it!  I am very annoyed with the pomp and circumstance of this event that didn't really do jack squat for the girls (minus the ones that got our pads).  They gave all the visitors bottled water and they had programs made-which is a bigger deal when you know that schools don't have printers.    I imagine they also rented chairs, along with the tents.  They had speakers, several microphones and all kinds of equipment so that the speakers could be heard.  All of this costs money,   What a waste.  They could have nixed the entire show and used those funds to buy the stinking pads for the 4 schools that were present and just dropped them off with the teachers, which would have been a much better use of the always-limited funds.   And I can't chalk it up to ignorance, because they told me they did a similar event two months ago and the pads never showed up either.  They even have another one planned for July.  The odds are not in their favor that they will have any pads to distribute.   I have no doubt that my face will show up in some report on a government officer's desk showing the public health strides being made.  What utter tosh, as the Brits would say!  Possibly the most alarming part is that no one seemed upset. There was a lot of hand shaking, back patting and posing for photos.   A general "well done us" feeling was rampant.  In the end, those who are "helping" went away feeling very pleased with themselves, and most of those vulnerable girls, in need of help, are still just as much in need.   I have no doubt this kind of thing happens in the our country just as often, but I've just never witnessed it.  PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT THE BEST WE CAN DO!   I will think of this day often, if only to make sure I am actually helping in the way I give myself credit for.

Jessie

Pop-up talent show

Dave has arrived!  He has joined Dad and I and has jumped in full force.  He has been particularly busy working on our water situation and the fish pond.  We are installing some new gutters and tanks as we are still in the assessment stage of our new home and don't know exactly how many water tanks we need to sustain us.  This is obviously very rain dependent, but we want to be able to store enough in dry times that we can make it through. 

Dad and Dave doing some gutter work (on a ladder that used to be a tree in the front yard :0)

 The fish pond had a rough start last year because of a unusual and severe drought that made us have to harvest early.  We still do not know if this is a sustainable source of food and will be a source of income for the house yet, but we're gearing up for attempt number 2.  George, our friend and fish pond consultant is working with us again and we have high hopes.

The kids were constantly fascinated with Baba's ability to draw funny cartoons

I found out yesterday that Naomi gave a recitation at school in front of the whole class, much to my shock and amazement since she has become quite a shy flower this year.  I asked her if she'd give it to us at home as well, and she covered her face, giggled and ran away-but eventually agreed.   She and Millie have officially left the little girl confident-indifferent stage and reached the teen girl era where they are giggly and self conscious of everything.  Some things are just universal, it appears.   Jacky has been working with them to recite bible verses to teach them to be able to speak and have confidence.  God bless you Jacky.

We were all sitting in the living room when I asked Naomi if she was ready.  She ducked back into the girls rooms, and came out a few minutes later with a fresh skirt and shirt on :)  I pretended with were on a stage and introduced her to the audience, which brought giggles from the other kiddos.  She got up, after a bit of coaxing and gave us an impressively long reading from the book of Isaiah.  They all clapped and cheered her.  To my surprise, Millie then got up on her own accord and gave us a verse of her own.  Also memorized perfectly.  When I got up to thank our performers for speaking,  Daniel slowly raised his hand, so as the MC, I welcomed him to the stage.  He got up and gave us a rap he had written.  It was adorable.  Then, quite unexpected, Joshua stood up and gave a moving speech in the form of a letter to Dave, Dad and I about family and the branches that makes it up.  He talked about how we are the roots and how they are leaves that are growing and thriving from our nourishment.  He encouraged the other kids to work hard, reach for their dreams, and never forget how lucky they are.  Oh.....lump in the throat.   That was a precious moment.  A tough act to follow, but Selah managed it with an adorable song she presented after introducing herself to the audience :).  Arnold then graced us with a goofy song about an old banjo.  And then in a great show of nerves of steel, Naomi jumped up and sang a song without being begged :)  Arnold sang again, Millie and Naomi sang together,  Jacky recited a verse, Daniel showed us his hip-hop moves.  It turned into a full on Jemo House talent show.  It was a surprising impromptu night that I will treasure always.  

Millie-my grown up girl-playing in a handball tournament

Jessie

Karibu Felix and Roy

Felix and I visiting at his elementary school

Today we decided to bring two new boys into the Jemo House crew.  They will not be living with us, but will be sponsored at home with their caregiver.  Their names are Felix and Roy :)  Felix is in 4th grade and has a mischievous smile that will melt you.  Roy, Felix's older brother,  is in 7th grade and is sweet and shy.  Their story is unfathomable but sadly not uncommon here.  Their parents died when they were very young, as did their 6 uncles and aunts.  Their grandfather took on the care of the 15 grandchildren that were left behind.  Their grandmother had already passed away, and the grandfather remarried some time later.  Last year, they lost their grandfather.  A friend of ours told us their story so we went to the home to visit this adoptive step-grandmother.   There are no pensions or retirement accounts here, so she was living off the land, feeding the kids from her shamba (fields).  The problem was she had absolutely no money coming in to pay for things like school fees, medical care and uniforms.  Some of the other children had sponsors or community programs that were helping with basic needs, but Felix and Roy did not have any resources.  When we visited their compound I was very surprised to see an immaculate yard and several mud homes (probably built by the children's parents before the died).  They were simple, but very well kept.  They boys each had a bed, blanket and a mosquito net.  (I have a theory that you can tell how well a child is cared for by seeing where they sleep).  It appears they are very well taken care of, but they just need a little help.  So help we shall provide!  We stopped by the Felix's school a few days later and his teacher commented on what a change has come over this sweet little boy.  She said he had started raising his hand to answer questions a lot, he was excited, engaged, even a little giddy.  A Kenyan way of describing this is to say, " He has become very bright."  I love that term and the thought of how light works in people's lives, sometimes to the point where you can immediately see the change when it enters.  It is proof-as if we need it-that hope is never to be underestimated.

Jessie

Running water and waiting for planes

Here we are again.  Travel is a strange thing.  Its exciting, I crave it when I haven't done it in a while.  It's a thrill like little else.  And........it often is super stressful and exhausting.  Funny how that works.  This time I had everything figured out.  My dad was meeting me in Nairobi.  I had a hotel booked, a driver I would contact when we got there.  Cash for visas.  It was all planned out.  And I would get there a hour before dad so I would be fully  awake, reoriented and ready to take care of everything.   After flying out of Raleigh heading to Paris, we'd been in the air for about an hour and a half when the pilot got on and told us there was some kind of radar mechanical failure, and we could not continue the flight.  We would be emergency landing in New York in 20 min.  Boom.   Plan destroyed.   After waiting in New York for 5 hours, I confirmed I would miss my paris-to-nairobi flight.  They rebooked me the next day, and I got to spend a night in a hotel in NY.  My bags couldn't be removed from the plane until whatever they were doing to it was done, so I had to leave them.  They said my bags were supposed to arrive in Nairobi before me and I could simply pick them up when I got there.  Riiight........So not only is my Dad on his own in a huge foreign city, but i would be without clean clothes and a toothbrush for several days.   Long story short, Dad got my message about the delays, so he was at least prepared to brave Nairobi alone.  I spent three full days in the same clothes until my bags finally arrived.  The hotel graciously gave me a toothbrush and a ketchup-packet of toothpaste, which I rationed carefully.  I had the foresight to pack an extra pair of underwear (not my first rodeo), so it all worked out.  I did have a moment of wondering what exactly is it about traveling that I love so much.....but it was short lived.  I am back in my Kenya and happy to be here.

Me and Baba at a little street food restaurant-my favorite place for mango juice

Dad with Faith and Aggry

 (Baba is father in kiswahili.  My dad likes this language more than anyone else I know.  So he is Baba). This was Baba's first time seeing our land and our new home.  It was a proud moment for me, to have these kiddos of mine showing him the life we have made here.  Sometimes, especially when I am away, it is easy to get a little wrapped in everything yet to do, and the never-ending list that runs through my head likes a Ferris wheel.  But it's quite a blessing to have moment that makes you step back and really look a where you are and how far you've come.  And we've come a good long way, it seems.

"You do not know the value of water until you have had to carry it. "

Well said little proverb.  And carrying water is good for the soul sometimes.  But it can be hard on the body.  And while we recognize running water is a luxury and not a necessity-it sure does make caring for 15 children easier.   So we had a welder make us a metal tower to put a smaller water tank on.  Our plumber's name is Ezra, and he and his crew chipped bits out of our concrete walls to embed pipes in them (there's no hollow walls here).  He installed a pump and chiseled a hole all the way through our wall to connect it all.  Our water source comes entirely from the rain, which runs down the roof into an 8000 liter tank in our courtyard.  We can then turn on our little pump to pump water up to our smaller tank on the tower at the height of our roof.  Gravity does the rest.  It's practically magic.

Since the installation of the water, we've had to had several talks with the children about the taps.  When they fill up their basin to bathe, we now require them to stand in the shower room until the basin is full.  Those two minutes have proven to be a hardship for the kiddos, as they could be outside running around-but the likelihood of them becoming involved in a game of chase-ball (Arnold's game he invented) and draining the whole tank dry is too likely.   And our water is precious, even if we don't have to carry it anymore :)

Baba enjoying a Kenyan breakfast

Jessie