Welcome Mama Dave!

I am very happy to welcome Dave's mom (my mother-in-law) to Kenya!  She will only be known here as "Mama Dave" but her real name is Sue :)

The kids are ravenously interested in life in the US, and have a keen curiosity for our families in particular.  Needless to say, there was much anticipation for her arrival.  These little faces peering over the welcome signs they made was the sight that  greeted us as we brought her to the house for the first time.

Naomi, Millie and Selah welcome Mama Dave to Jemo House

Daniel and Janet greet Mama Dave

Sue jumped right into life in Kenya and the kids loved getting to know her.  We had just harvested maize from our fields and she helped lay it out to dry and shuck it off the cobs.  The process included spreading the cobs of corn out to dry each day in the sun.  Then once they are dry enough to shuck the maize is dried again.  The maize can then be boiled to eat or ground up at the local mill to make our staple food; ugali.

Sue and Carissa spread our maize to dry in the sun

Sue and Lynet shucking the maize off the cob

Dave lends a hand to Jacky and Caroline 

Dave and I feel so blessed to have families that support our work and mission so completely.  It means so much to us to get to share this amazing place with them!

Jessie

A Lucky Woman

My apologies for the lack of cute pics and anecdotes in this post, but there weren't any for this bit.  This is the true and honest picture of all sides of this work.  Most of the time I love everything I do here.  And then once in a while, I wish someone else would do it for me.  Such is the way it goes though, with all things that are hard but worth doing. 

One of the first things I had to do when I got here was to fire Helen, one of our housemothers.  She is not a completely terrible-horrible-no-good person,  but she just was not right for the job.  We hire people to take on the role of caregiver (which is essentially a mother) for children that are not their own.  To be an encourager, a disciplinarian, a guider of ways and an unconditional source of love and support is not an easy job on the best of days.  And it certainly is not for everyone.  (It's actually not for very many people at all as evidenced by the number of foster parents in our own country).  She took the news well enough and once the dreaded task was over I set about finding a new candidate for the role.  It is commonly believed that any job working for a mzungu (westerner) is characterized by minimal work and an unconditional flow of cash; both of which are opposite in our case.  Needless to say, it is not an easy job to fill, so we took a recommendation from Florence, a trusted leader of another non-profit program and a dear friend. 

Lynet and I interviewed Caroline two days after I arrived.  She is a middle-aged woman with a warm smile and a quiet voice.  With great effort she looked me in the eye when answering my questions and her trembling hands gave away how stressful the interview must have been.  I later found she speaks decent English but was too nervous to think through the translations while we were talking so Lynet translated her answers.  I learned her story from Florence who accompanied her to the interview.   She used to work for a different children’s home until her husband died.  She had been required to live at the home so she had to leave when there was no one left to care for her own 6 children.  Her only option (since finding another job was near impossible) was to go back home to her husband’s place, and stay in a house on his family compound, as is the custom.  In order to have this roof over her children’s heads however, it is also the custom that she must be “inherited” by her husband’s brother as a second wife.   While they did not go into specifics, I learned that she was not one of the “lucky ones” as these two ladies described the women who get inherited by good men.  Without violating her privacy....it hurt my heart to hear the details.  

As distressing as her story was, it didn't feel like it was a slam dunk decision.  I laid in bed that night contemplating the interview and I was not completely filled with confidence.  She seemed genuine and kind, but she also seemed without hope and scared.  I have been a bad judge of character before and people can change drastically when they are no longer desperate, for better or worse.  And if it was the latter, my children would have to endure another caregiver leaving them and disrupting their home.  My first and foremost responsibility is to my children, to provide them with a loving, supportive and STABLE home.  Was she really the best choice??

Then I began to think about how I would feel and think about myself if I was inherited by a man as a piece of property.  What would I look to others if I had been forced to take such an option to keep my children safe-ish and fed?   I still felt like she deserved the chance to prove what she could be when she's safe and secure.  I prayed hard. Real hard.

The next morning I woke up with a sense of peace about these unknowns and with the confidence that Caroline was sent to us for a reason.  Prayers for the right person for this job has been sent upwards many times by many people before I even set foot back in Kenya.  We think she may be the answer we were hoping for and we have the faith to take that chance.   

Jacky (left) and Caroline in their Jemo House staff shirts

Welcome to Jemo House Caroline!

Back in the saddle again

Boy, I have missed this place and these children.  I am happy to be back.  I took the direct flight from JFK to Nairobi this time, so the jetlag that usually renders me a zombie by 4 pm is only minimal.    I traveled with Alexandra Barfield, a college student and photographer who will be helping me with a number of things here.  I am particularly excited about her ability to capture on camera the mischief behind a person's eyes.  I have been trying to capture Arnold’s for years now, and I’m excited to see what she comes up with.  Janet also has a number of signature looks that can only be photographed when she is unawares, so I am hoping Alexandra is up for a stealth mission to capture these faces on film that are so precious to me and that I miss wildly when I am away. 

The "parade" of kiddos that often follows our daily commute

Meghan, Ali, Me and Carissa in the back of a Tuk-tuk

I am also traveling with two nurses, Meghan and Carissa.  Meghan is becoming a veteran now that this is her second trip and Carissa is a first-timer.   Meghan and Carissa are working with TLC as well as with local hospitals, to provide care and assistance. 

Ali and Meghan carrying pads to our matatu stop to travel to a school. 
They are surprisingly heavy!

After much preparation and a practice run in our rooms, they were ready for our first pad talk at Essumba Primary School with 6-8th grade girls.  It is always somewhat nerve-wracking to stand in front of a group of pre-teenage girls talking about a subject that is both sensitive and giggle-worthy.  A thought that never occurred to me when I was the one doing the giggling a few years ago.  It was nice to have so many hands to do the talk, which allowed us to circulate the room better and make sure all the girls understood and could demonstrate how to put the pads in the underwear and how to change the liners.  It also allowed them to observe the girls during the part of the discussion about men who will “sponsor” a young girl to give her gifts of things she needs, especially pads, that require repayment with sex.   We want the girls to know that sex is expected in these arrangements, and that pregnancy and HIV infection are only two of the outcomes that could keep them out of school forever.   I’ve never noticed this before, probably because I am usually the one that handles that part of the talk, but it made several girls get teary.   I wish I could take those girls and carry them away to somewhere safe and happy.   And even though it doesn’t reflect the values Jesus taught me and I strive to live by daily; I want to bring those men to their knees with a swift and steel-toed kick to the nether regions. 
It is our hope that the pads we left them with will provide for some of their needs and make it harder to accept these "sponsorships" that have the potential to drastically alter the lives and educational future of these girls.  

Girls with their new pads

Meghan teaching about the magic of fallopian tubes and ovum :)

Ali leading a demonstration on how to use the pads

Per the usual one of our bags was a casualty of travel, stuck somewhere in JFK airport.  No one can actually locate it yet on the other end of the phone, so I am not hopeful of it arriving this week.  We have a very limited supply of sunscreen until that arrives, so we will have to start rationing soon :)

Jessie

Be Brave

(Blogpost written by Sarah Jeter)

Hobby Lobby has ruined inspiration signs for America. You know what I’m talking about. Just look above your fireplace. Is “Live, Laugh, Love” painted in curly script on a fake-weathered piece of wood? I thought so.

And I’m not saying that’s bad. It’s good to fill your home with positivity and inspiration and the motivation to feed the good things in your life. All I’m saying is that Hobby Lobby has made them so mainstream they kind of lose their meaning.

That’s why, when I saw the new sign painted on the hallway wall in the girls’ corridor at Jemo House (the children’s home in Maseno, Kenya TLC runs), it didn’t strike me as anything too special. It says, “Be Brave.”

But, dear reader, take a second to think about what it means to tell a young woman to “be brave” in a rural village in Kenya.

Many of the girls at Jemo House come from abusive homes and families. Each day, they’re recovering and healing from years of mistreatment and abuse. For them, being brave is waking up every morning and choosing to heal, to forgive, and love people, even when so many people have given them thousands of reasons not to.

Being brave in Maseno is working hard in school, being bold about wanting to go to college and pursue a love of learning instead of the comfort of a more domestic life. It means fighting against gender normalities and expectations we don’t have in the same capacity in the United States. And it means always wearing a dress, even if that’s not what makes you feel comfortable or at home in yourself.

We are proud of all of our children at Jemo House, especially our young women. We are proud that they’ve chosen to be brave, and part of our mission to encourage and equip them to choose bravery every day. But the other part of our mission is teaching them that choosing bravery doesn’t always mean choosing anger. It takes bravery to love others, stand up for what you know to be right, and do what is best, not what is easy.

If you want to help us keep encouraging our girls to be brave, we would love your support. A $10/month donation will help us feed these young, hungry and courageous ladies. (Bravery is easier on a full stomach, I know this from experience.)

But, more importantly, TLC is asking each of you to practice bravery this week, in honor of the girls we support. Love yourself and others sincerely, in the way you deserve to be loved. That’s true bravery.

From your family at TLC, have a great week.

Got a few minutes? Here is a great and related Ted Talk about bravery and vulnerability.
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

A Few Good Men

I know it' not quite Father's Day yet, but today I am acutely aware of how thankful I am for these men that have given up their time and a little of their sanity to spend these last few weeks with me here.    I love Kenya in a way that I will never properly be able to convey to anyone. My soul still feels most content here and I miss it when I'm gone.  But that doesn't blind me to how hard it can be, especially for others.  It can be frustrating and confusing, and generally it can wear you down in a physical/social/emotional kind of way.  It's easy to underestimate the energy it takes to be slightly out of your comfort zone all the time.  And it's hot.  Which is most noticeable when the situation requires a little more patience than you possess.

How many dads do you know would give up a full month of their life for that?  How many husbands would use more than half of their vacation time to work like crazy?  I couldn't make a long list.  And even more than their sacrifice, I appreciate why they do it.  Yes, because they love me.  Yes, because they do enjoy it.  But they really do it because it matters to them.  Because they know it's not really about the things we are doing, it about showing up.  It's being a physical representation of love to these children.  Our children.   Like all kids, they need to know that you will show up for them, again and again, no matter how they mess up or misbehave.   Unconditional is a concept that usually needs to been seen or felt to be understood.   That in a world that has crumbled around them before, you will not. 

Janet, Dave and Selah playing a game

Dave and Dad visiting Vincent at his school

Arnold getting a lesson in pocket-knife safety

Dave teaching Faith and Aggry how to pick up

Rain gear :)

Boys and their muscles

When you get back from a month like this and people ask, "How was Kenya?"  

It feels like you need to sum it up in 2-3 sentences before they lose interest, which often comes out as, "It was good."  Then followed by a brief synopsis of painting the gate, filling the fish pond, installing running water, and things of that nature.   But those are just the tasks.  The real work was the showing up.  Thank you Baba and Dave, for showing up for these kids.  Again and again.  

Jessie

Just Pics

Too tired to say much.  Just wanted to show you the lovely bits of my last few days.

Janet (left) and Selah

Lynet and I visiting Eddah (left) at her school

Selah and Janet starting our family tree mural

Arnold having some alone time with the legos :)

Daniel plays goal keeper in a game of handball at school

Zedekia playing with wooden blocks